Autumn is here, the time of harvest and change of seasons and letting go. We have just celebrated Dario’s birthday who has just turned 2 and for me it’s a bit of a time for self-reflection. If I look back at these last 2 years I am absolutely stunned by the amount of change that has happened on a personal level internally and externally in my world.
Becoming a mother
Has been obviously a tremendous change. Becoming a mother is very much like an internal volcanic explosion. Everything in your life gets totally shaken, transformed and shifted from the process of pregnancy, birth and life with a baby and a toddler. It’s been a journey of both love, expansion and a deep healing of my own childhood wounds and meeting my own shadows in the process.
Where is home
After the first lockdown we left Essaouira, our base for 10 years, on the first available flight to leave Morocco. It was challenging to leave with just a couple of suitcases and not knowing what would expect us next. We arrived in Corfu knowing just one person here and just took the risk. We haven’t looked back once missing our old life and it turned out to be a good choice for where we are at right now even if it was a huge leap into the unknown, it was totally worth it.
How I sleep
I was always a very deep sleeper but that is yet another basic thing that has changed. I wake up frequently even now and often find it hard to get back to rest. There has been a restlessness in me with all the current world situation. I guess a subtle anxiousness that is present. But I became a wonderful napper instead
Friendships
Again, being a parent is such a game changer. Some friendships ended, even solid connections I had cherished for years just dissolved. There has been a lot of grieving for me around that and a realisation that some of my old friends could just not relate anymore to whom I have become after being a mother. On the other hand we made many wonderful new friends, some with kids and some without and this has been very special, supportive and nourishing.
How I spend my time
The main focus is now on spending quality time with Dario. Those precious years with a young child will never come back, I know that. So a lot had to go in the background to make space for this. Consuming Hollywood entertainment has stopped altogether, I haven’t watched a movie in 2 years, seriously! On the other hand I have read more books than ever in my life. I have slowed down on social media hangouts and aimless scrolling up and down the pc or phone screens, and even what I still engage with feels too much actually. Probably the next change is around to corner…
What to eat
My diet has changed completely. I did a bio resonance session and treatment and discovered all the food that don’t support me well like gluten, sugar and dairy products. Then I also started taking supplements to balance my nutrition. The first days I took those steps I had a complete melt down because I really did not want to have to pay so much attention to my food and absolutely hated taking any supplements. But I stayed with it and started to feel much better in my body quickly.
How I work
I moved from doing mostly yoga retreats to shifting to mostly online offerings. This has been wonderful because for the first time in my life I have a steady rhythm with giving classes. In the past I was always navigating very full and then very empty times and I love the steady pace of teaching. A little bit and regularly each week. So this has been a true blessing. My classes started to attune quite naturally to the moon rhythms and have changed the way I theme and practice altogether. I have learned so much in this process and appreciate the commitment of my online regular students.
What I wear
I did a wonderful feeling-colours session that was a true eye opener. It turned out that I was wearing mostly the colours that do not support me fully. Amazing to realise that the colours that truly suit me feel so different on my skin in my mood and sense of well-being. So I have been exploring the world of colours and how they affect us so deeply lately. A very interesting discovery to be explored further.